Two of most things

Vermont-bound

We are off to Vermont bright and early tomorrow morning for our annual vacation there.  We're renting a house in the middle of nowhere that has a nifty pool in the backyard, a half-court basketball area, and miles and miles of trail running for those so inclined.

Getting there will be less fun.  We are both somewhat dreading the 4 hour drive there with our lovely Maisie, who is quite sweet and delightful in person but much less pleasant in the car.  She seems to have a new need in the car every 30 seconds, and it goes something like this:

"Blankie!  Blankie!"  (we dutifully reach in the backseat and pick up dropped blankie)

(10 seconds later...)

"Milkie!  Milkie!"  (we dutifully reach in the backseat and pick up dropped sippy cup of beverage, not necessarily milk).

(10 seconds later...)

"Ninno!   Ninno!"  (indicating that she wishes the window were either up or down...but basically wanting the exact opposite of whatever state of openess/closedness the window is at that moment)

(10 seconds later...)

"Bookie!  Bookie!) (we dutifully reach in the backseat and retrieve discarded book).

At this point, she purposefully drops her blanket on the ground, and then we hear:

"Blankie!  Blankie!"

And the entire cycle starts all over again.  Imagine this same cycle for 4 hours.  Actually, even try to imagine this same cycle for 20 minutes.  At some point she becomes infuriated that we haven't sufficiently met all of her needs, and she really loses it.  And then of course at some point during this cycle Ella pisses her off by doing one thing or another (like looking at her), and the car is filled with screaming.  

My head hurts just thinking about all of this.

I have equipped the car with two DVD players, more DVDs than anybody could possible watch in two round-the-world trips, and an I-Pod for me so that I don't have to listen to Baby Einstein/Scooby Doo/Chronicles of Narnia/Diego the Explorer/etc (which, I realize, limits the possibility of meaningful conversation with my loved one, but saves me the headache).

And so tomorrow we are off.  You'll hear back from me later in July, after the Vermont Adventure in the Car with a Two-Year Old has come to a pleasant end.  My I-Pod will definitely need to be charged by then.

The good news keeps coming

I have to admit:  I've had a great ride these past few days.  First, the fun day off for my birthday.  Second, the surprise ring-bearing by Kim in the parking lot of the Hamden Government Center.  Third, the fabulous barbecue/civil union we had yesterday.

And today?  I arrived at work to find that I got the big grant that I have been working on funded.  It was a submission to the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amFAR) that focused on the causes and consequences of mistrust of health care providers (and larger medical systems) among veterans living with HIV.  Part of it is a data analysis of existing data that we have at my current job, but the bigger part is a series of interviews with veterans living with HIV in Washington DC, Baltimore, and New York City.  Its a two-year $125,000 grant, so that will keep me busy for the next two years.

I was so overwhelmed with all of these happy things that I could hardly get anything done.  I just sat there and was basically numb, and completely exhuasted.  I could hardly make it through the day.

I decided to jump ship around 4:00 and head out for a trail run on my way home.  I tried out a new trail, which ended up being a great decision.  The run was beautiful, and was in Public Water Supply protected land.  The water supply in question was a huge huge (for Connecticut) lake without another soul in sight.  After a 30-minute run, I came to a nice place on the lake that looked like it was built for a swim.  I discarded my shoes, shirt and car key and jumped into the water for a 30 minute swim.  It was absolutely unbelievably amazing.  All was quiet with the exception of dragon flies buzzing around on the surface of the water, frogs chirping and birds calling.  I swam out as far as I could and then treaded water for a good 20 minutes, just listening to all the amazing sounds and enjoying the peace and solitude.

I'm going to try to get Kim to come there for a swim with me tomorrow.  And maybe I'll even bring my camera to show how beautiful it is.

We're Unionized!

I'm not exactly sure what it means to have a civil union, legally, but whatever it means, we now are unionized.  We had a small ceremony at our house yesterday during a barbecue that we had already scheduled, so most of our guests didn't know what was about to happen.  It was fun, it was spontaneous, and Ella and Maisie got to be the flower girls, which they loved.

Kim was actually wildly uncomfortable during the ceremony, as she doesn't so much like to be the center of attention or in the spotlight.  She spent the whole time worrying whether the guests were happy, whether Ella and Maisie were happy, and whether people were getting too hungry and she should start the barbecue.  As a result, she spent the entire (very brief) ceremony looking at everybody but me, talking to the kids, laughing nervously, and (ultimately) jamming the ring on the wrong finger.  It was fabulous.  I know her heart is in the right place and this morning she is over-ridden with post-civil-union guilt for her somewhat crazy behavior during the ceremony, which is actually a little amusing to me.

At any rate, we're now unionized, which I think means we have the right to visit each other in the hospital if we're sick (already did that when I had our children), and I can add Kim to my insurance at Yale (I think we have better benefits here that she does at Sacred Heart).  I think there's a couple of other benefits we get, too, but I'm not sure what they are.  None of them are tax-related, as Civil Unions in Connecticut (or marriages in Massachusetts or California) do not provide any federal benefits of marriage.  So, for all practical purposes, its still marriage-lite.

Anyway, here's a few pictures from yesterday.  Howie took no fewer than 57 pictures, and unfortunately in most of them, Kim is grimacing.  God love her.  I certainly do.  Also note in the picture below that Ella insisted I wear a black cocktail dress that she discovered in my closet (haven't worn it for years), but it was more than ok with Ella if Kim wore a t-shirt and board shorts. 

It was a perfect day

I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.  Seriously.  It was easily the best birthday I've ever had.

Here's why:

1.  I got up and ran 15 miles, and the run was actually easy!  I completely enjoyed it.  The temperature was perfect--it was probably in the mid 60s and sunny.  And my route was just beautiful.

2.  The girls got me a massage for my birthday, so after my long run, I went and had an amazing massage.  I've found a great massage therapist in New Haven, and she does wonders for tired legs.

3.  Contrary to what I said about Kim spending the whole day doing the walkway, she and I met for lunch on the waterfront in New Haven and had a great lunch on the water.  Strangely, I had a beet salad that was really good.  I didn't think I was such a beet fan.

4.  I went and bought a new pair of Keen sandals with money that my mom gave me for my birthday (thanks mom!).  They're bright green and funky.

5.  And...perhaps best of all:  Kim and I went to City Hall and got a civil union license.  Ella has been dying for us to get married (so she can be a flower girl, for the most part), and we've decided its an important things for our kids to be a part of.  We thought it would be a great thing to do on my birthday.  Actually, we found out that all we could do today is apply for the license, and that we actually have to have a justice of the peace do the ceremony, or whatever its called.

So, in keeping with our fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants philosophy, we will be having a civil union party/ceremony thing on Sunday at a barbecue that we have already planned to have.  Ella is thrilled, and already has her outfit laid out.  This is going to be a very very very casual thing, as the original purpose of the barbecue was just to hang out with other families with kids and play in the pool and on the waterslide (I'd like to wear a swimming suit, but Ella tells me that I need to wear my black dress. I think Kim gets to wear her swimming suit, though).  The whole thing will be fun.  We figured as long as we were already having a party, we might as well do the civil union thing at the same time.  None of our guests know we'll be doing a small civil union sideshow (except those that are reading this).

Its exciting, and I feel great.

And finally, also perhaps best of all, Kim gave me a diamond band, engraved with our intitials and the date we met.  Its really beautiful.

Can you imagine a better day?

Day of Self-Indulgence

Tomorrow is my birthday--the big 38.  I kind of liked being 37--you know, the prime number and all.

Originally, Kim and I were both going to take the day off together and do something fun.  Now, Kim has dug herself into a trench (no pun intended) as she has removed the entire back walkway from our yard that leads up to our deck, which has now been replaced with a big pit that is a hazard to walk on or around.  Her goal is to build a new walkway there, and when she is done, it will be beautiful, I'm sure.

But!  The problem is that we are having a large party at our house on Sunday, complete with many small children who will likely fall and break their neck if they attempt to walk in the area.  Given this walkway is the only back entrance to our house, it seems somewhat crucial that we have at least a passing version of something that can be walked on before the party.

And this is why I am now spending my birthday alone.  Yes, I could spend it with the kids, and that would be the responsible parent thing to do.  But instead I've decided to spend a day indulging myself in all the things I don't get to do anymore, and I'm going to do it guilt-free (especially knowing that Kim will be home building the walkway and Lauren will be watching over the wee ones).

Should I feel guilty about not helping Kim?  Yep.  Should I feel guilty about not taking the kids with me on my self-indulgent day?  Yep.

Will I feel guilty as I'm getting a massage, hopefully getting my hair cut, visiting a bookstore, eating fattening food for lunch, and doing whatever else it is I end up doing tomorrow?

Nope.  (or at least not really).

I'll report back on the Day of Self Indulgence tomorrow.

Matching Dresses

Grandma SPLURGED on way too many dresses for the girls, who are easily the best-dressed kids in the neighborhood (ok, actually the whole town, and likely all of Connecticut).  Once grandma discovered the Hanna Anderson store, that was it.  Dad has never seen his checkbook again.

So, here's the matching dresses, as well as a picture of Ella's closet.  Please note there is not one set of shorts, nor a t-shirt, in sight.  Also please note there is nary a primary color in sight either.

Naked Steeplechase

Its about to be an Olympic sport, you know.

Single-Mindedness, and Why 2 Mothers are Good

Unfortunately, I think I'm one of those people who move from obsessive thoughts about one topic to obsessive thoughts about another topic.  I spent months and months and months (literally) obsessing about Ella's kindergarten experience/year, and now that we have made that decision (for good), I clearly need to move on to another topic.  I'm finding myself torn between two topics to worry excessively about.  Here's the long and short of it:

1.  Running.  Again, I'm trying to train for this ultramarathon at the end of September.  For the most part, running is going really well, with the exception of this nagging heel/foot injury I've had for the past 3-4 months.  Its not going to go away without a serious reduction/elimination of running, which I'm not even considering.  So, its a matter of running with pain.  I've been reassured by several people that its unlikely that my Achilles will just snap in the regular course of running, so if that's true, I might as well keep going.  The other problem I'm having is that I'm starting to hit a wall after about 2 hours of running.  This, combined (or perhaps because) I'm doing my training in the middle of the summer is a problem, too, given the ultra is a 50K.  I've been doing some great routes all around our house lately, and its a huge benefit that we live in such a hilly part of southern Connecticut.  Its not mountainous by any stretch of the imagination, but its about as big of hills as you can find around here.  I think my goal in the ultra will be simply to finish it with a combination of running and walking when necessary.

2.  My health policy course this fall.  Its kind of weird that I've been teaching graduate courses all of these years since I've graduated but have never actually taught a health policy course, given that policy was my specialization.  The course I'm about to teach is a survey course in health policy, which has previously been taught as a health administration, rather than a health policy course.  I'm changing it pretty radically from the way it was taught in previous years.  I've got loads of preparation to do for this course, which is, in theory, the way I should be spending my evenings.  But, instead of doing it, I seem to be spending my time worrying about it.  So productive on my part.

Anyway, given this is supposed to be a blog about my children and not about my single-mindedness, I should say that the little taco (aka Maisie) is still a bit under the weather.  She's had a series of fevers this weekend and wasn't up to par.  Today she had a rash, which we and Howie think is a heat-related rash.  We did take her to the Essex Steam Train this morning for a little train ride, and she did like that (eventually).  All three days of this long weekend she's taken mega-naps of 3-4 hours, so she does seem to be fighting something off.

Finally, I realize everyday what a better mother that Kim is above me.  She just has this amazing way of relating to the kids and lifting their spirits in ways that I don't think I can always do.  I was reminded tonight of what a great mother she is when I tried to put Maisie to bed.  I am always the one that puts Ella to bed (with her Never-Ending stories) and Kim always puts Maisie to bed.  Given Ella is with my parents, I thought I would put Maisie to bed.  Apparently I did everything wrong (sang the wrong song, read the wrong books, did everything out of order), because when I left her in her room for the night she was howling mad.  Kim went up to her room to smooth things over, and the child quit crying immediately and settled down to sleep, apparently with the proper song, the proper stories, and the proper order of goodnight rituals.

Thank goodness there are two of us.  I would be a disaster on my own.

Here's Kim, at her prettiest.

Kids in the Times

The New York Times did some nice things focusing on kids today (though neither article necessarily brings peace and joy to your psyche).  

The first was an interesting story on Google's child care problems, and its not-so-small 75% rate hike for its daycare center tuition.  Can you imagine paying $2500/month for infant care at a daycare center?

The second was a piece on trying to keep kids quiet while (living) in multi-million dollar condos and/or apartment buildings in New York.  Can you imagine always telling your kids to not run in the house for fear of disturbing the neighbors who live beneath you?  We'd be kicked out within days.

4th of July

My parents came down for the 4th of July, and Howie, Lauren, and her husband Brian joined us for a barbecue.  Maisie was not feeling up to par, so she didn't enjoy the day as much as she could have, but the rest of us had a nice time together.  After the barbecue, Ella headed up to Massachusetts for a few days with my parents while Maisie stayed behind to recuperate.

Its nice to have a great backyard to sit and enjoy days like yesterday, even though it was a bit rainy and cool.

Here's grandma and the girls enjoying each other's company...