Today is June 2nd, and its the official 'Blogging for LGBT Families Day' (for the unaware reader, LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender).
If there's anything that's important to know about families like mine, its that we do not live an 'Alternative Lifestyle'. Too often, I've had friends from high school, college, or some other place in my life tell me that they were well in support of my 'alternative lifestyle'. Though I've appreciated their sentiment, I am often left to wonder how much they really understand about me, and about those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.
Maybe I'm at a slight advantage because for years I was a straight woman who dated boys and got married. There always seemed to be something missing, and I assumed it was a deficiency on my part. But, the reality is, I've lived both the straight and married life and the lesbian and partnered life, and let me be the first to tell you: they ain't much different.
But, to be fair, I thought I'd do a real thought experiment to inventory my alternative lifestyle (faint reader: be prepared). I'm really going to try to think of some alternativeness in our life here:
1. We watch the NCAA softball championship EVERY year with Kim on TV. We watched the championship on our first date eight years ago, and we're still watching it today (different teams, of course). (But, to our defense here, we have a good friend at on our soccer team that is straight that also watches the NCAA softball championship, and also know a good lesbian friend of ours who is a softball coach that DOESN'T watch the softball champsionship. So, this is truly confusing).
2. Kim doesn't shave her legs. (But then again, lots of women don't shave their legs).
3. We built our own garden fence.
4. Kim owns power tools. And knows how to use them, better than my dad.
5. We mow our acre of lawn by push mower.
6. We both exercise every day, and actually are generous enough to each other to ensure that we trade-off on exercise so both of us get our workouts in.
7. We drink soy milk.
8. We eat sweets whenver we want. For example, as I write this, we are downing a box of Pinwheels (the world's best cookie).
9. Kim wears sports bras 365 days/year. She doesn't own a frilly bra. Nor does she own a dress.
10. I wear dresses at least half the days/week. I love dresses, especially summer dresses. I also do not own a frilly bra. For the most part, I think frilly bras itch.
11. I have not worn make-up in years. Kim has never worn make-up. My good friend Kris once said to me, "When you put make-up on in the morning, it comes off by the end of the day, and it looks like you never put it on in the first place". This was brilliant, and I haven't worn make up since (Kris, do you remember telling me this?).
12. Speaking of kids, my kids are extraordinarily alternative. They eat breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, everyday. They wear clothes, everyday. They play fun games, by themselves, and with each other, everyday. On most days, they take at least one, if not two, baths. Cleanliness is big, and radically alternative, in our house.
13. We have a dog that stays outside, and not in a fenced area, everyday. His name is Luckey, and he is lucky that he has made it to be nearly 13 years old.
14. We've got an amazing social support system. Both of us have loving and supportive parents. Our girls have a loving father. We have wonderful friends. We have great work colleagues. I know--these things are all radically alternative.
15. I like Pop-Tarts. Chocolate is best, followed by Brown Sugar Cinnamon.
16. Kim didn't eat meat for 25 years. And then one day she did. And now she loves steak.
17. When we're out with the kids, I do all the driving. Its a control thing, I'm sure. I should seek therapy for this, but I haven't yet. Maybe this is where I should spend my yet-to-be-received stimulus paycheck.
18. We stil qualify for a stimulus check, even while living so alternatively!
19. We both drive Subarus.
20. For the ultimate in alternative living, I wish I could say that we regularly wear each other's clothes. But, Kim is too damn skinny, and she also prefers to retain clothing from, say, the late 1980s. She actually owns a jacket with little tassle things in the breast area, and though she thinks it will come back into fashion one day, I am not so sure.
Now you all know about our alternative lifestyle. I sincerely hope its not too shocking, and that this post has been somewhat informative for all those out there that are certain that our life is somehow different, given our lesbian-ness.
Now, if somebody could really explain that straight lifestyle for me. I just have so many unanswered questions...
Pop Tarts? Really? I'm shocked!
You are correct. I too lived a married straight life (not very well) and now live a married life with my partner (official ceremony will take place in August). there really isn't much difference: it's a relationship that we have to work at. we have fights and make up. we take care of the kids.
great post, loved reading it!
Posted by: keltic | June 02, 2008 at 10:42 PM
I didnt' eat meat for like seven years and then I just did...and now I love steak, too. She must be my doppleganger :) ...or it must be an "alternative" thing.
Posted by: Dominick | June 02, 2008 at 10:42 PM
There are many shocking statements in this post, but I will address only the most shocking...
Chocolate poptarts??? No. No. No. The best are frosted raspberry, by far.
I actually do not remember making that particular comment about makeup. It certainly was wise though. It has been a very, very long time since I myself have worn makeup (>10 years). It never really did anything for me except to make me look like I was wearing makeup.
Posted by: Kris | June 03, 2008 at 10:13 AM