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When my grandniece Mackenzie spent a month living with us 1-1/2 years ago, Amy was 4-1/2 and Mackenzie was 2 months old. Amy had a very difficult time adjusting to our new addition. Her difficulty adjusting was actually a major reason we sadly decided we could not keep MacKenzie indefinitely. Once, I went to put MacKenzie in the seat we used for her and found that Amy had placed her scissors in an open position on the baby seat. A very passive aggressive yet hostile message, don't you think? It really upset me, so I can relate to what you are feeling today. I feared I was raising a future psychopath. I talked with her quite a bit afterward, not so much specifically about the scissor incident, but about what her feelings were in regards to having MacKenzie around. I explained that MacKenzie needed to be loved and cared for by all of us, but that Amy was my daughter and I loved her in a way that I love no other person in the world. MacKenzie went on to spend the next three months with her own mother, but we then took her in again for another month. At this point, Amy was now nearing her 5th birthday. The happy ending here is that amazingly, because Amy was now a bit older, more mature, and better at expressing her feelings, she was actually able to tell me at times that she was feeling jealous of MacKenzie. I would then compliment her on being able to identify and express her feelings so well, and I would make a point of reassuring her of my love and would give her more of the attention she was craving from me. Neither scissors nor sand were required to get her point across or to help her vent her feelings of frustration. So, be patient, reassure Ella of the unique love you have for her and the special bond you two share (you have a "first born" and a "baby"; each should feel proud and reassured to hold their respective title), and help her develop the vocabulary to express her feelings, and she may just let Maisie's hair grow again.


Hi Kristen,
My big sis Dorothy sent me your blog. I forwarded it to my partner Emily. Your family has become a part of our dinner conversations! Actually, Em calls me at work during the day to make sure I have read your blog. (I bookmarked it) Your blogs are so great and always make me laugh out loud! Today was especially great because it reminded me of growing up with an older sister and younger sister. Because of famialial confidences and you know Dorothy, I can not share too many details. Plus she might deny all of it! But feel free to ask her about the times she used to come into my room every single time I cleaned it, and mess it up.. Just to watch me clean it again! Oh yeah, also ask her about the time she dumped a glass of ice tea over my head. ( i might have deserved that one)Whatever you do, don't ask her about Winslow, Arizona! But you know what? She is the greatest sister I could ever ask for and gives the best advice EVER! Even at times, when I don't even ask!Her haressment growing up has prepared me for the real world and has made me tougher and more sensitive! You reminded me I need to thank her! Anyways, thank you for your heartful blogs!


Hi from the Emily mentioned in Jody's posting. My sister and I are now best friends, but it wasn't always like that.
What is going on at your house seems perfectly normal to me. I am a big sister and I used to do horrible things to my little sister (like punch her in the stomach for no reason). And then she used to do horrible things back to me (like throw rocks at my head). We had the most fun, actually, when we tortured our parents, though so watch out. My sister and I liked to make mixtures of all the things we could find in the bathroom cabinent. One time we had the brilliant idea that this bright blue goop would change our bathroom into a skating rink so we spread it on the floor and stripped down to nothing. My sis and I spent a while slidding around gleefully. My mom was alerted by the sound of us thudding into walls. When she saw blue vasaline (mixed with other stuff) spread all over the floor and walls she was glowing mad. We ended up having to rewall paper the entire downstairs as punishment. Keep in mind we were about 7 and 8 years old. : ) Not to scare you. The fun has just begun.


hey Kristen,
caryn and I are only about 3 years apart, and while now we are really close, i used to ... I dont know what the right word is... but somewhere along the lines of hate her-i guess. I used to take her toys from her and then when she cried and my parents came i pretended to cry and that used to make her laugh so i didnt get into trouble. Also, just after she was born i told someone...maybe grandma? that i wished either she would die or that she would go back to where she came from. I also used to HATE HATE HATE it when she kissed me, so she would do this to annoy me. It wasnt until we were moving, and our mom was stressed about it that we started to become friends. We had moved into an apt while our house was being finished. Our mom wasnt sure if moving in general was a good idea and was having general cold feet. Our dad took her out for a walk. Caryn and I agreed that we would "pretend" to play monopoly when they came back so she wouldnt have to worry about us on top of everything else. We eneded up really playing and it was a small step in the right direction because we were not forced to play togeather.

Our mom used to tell us that we are sisters and we love each other and that some day we will be really close. We didnt believe it then but it happened... maybe its because she said that so many times. :) Good luck!

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